Cali Cafe – Riverview, Florida
This is the first coffee conversation I’ve written since February of 2022. Wow! I was probably the last time I actually sat and relaxed and wrote in a coffee shop as well.
Busy
I think this has become the most worshiped and hated word in our modern times. Everyone is busy, too busy, always busy. We think the busier we are, the more important we are, the more needed we are.
Realistically…the more stressed we are. The more we are doing ‘busy’ work, less deep work. The less we connect meaningfully with other people and even more so, the less we connect with ourselves.
Why?
Why do we over-busy ourselves, our lives, our kids’ lives, our work lives? Why are we so afraid of being still? Being bored? Being alone? Doing nothing?
I recently reviewed Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift from the Sea on my Podcast/YouTube show. Even though it was written 75 years ago, she talked about how we are afraid to be alone. She talked about using the TV and radio as well as social obligations to not be alone.
Now we have the whole world fitting into our pocket…and we are NEVER without it. We can tap into the lives of our families, our friends, our cultural and political icons any time during the day or night. We are NEVER alone.
Why are we also afraid of it?
Do we not trust our own minds? Will it make us look pathetic? Unlovable?
Even now, I’m sitting alone in a coffee shop. But I’m busy. I look so important sitting here. I was writing the outline for another episode. Making notes, typing away. Who am I? I must be DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT to be so busy.
When my breakfast sandwich came, I set aside my tablet and notebook but I queued up a book on my phone. Ok, I do love to read. But what about just sitting and eating and being present with being alone? There are several people ‘alone’ in this cafe but every.single.one of them is on a device.
Are We Hiding?
I think we (and by we I mean me for sure) do use busy to hide from ourselves. To not appear to be ‘wasting’ time. To not look less important.
I went out on two different walks last week. One in a nature preserve near my house and the other in my neighborhood streets. The instinct to call someone as I started out on each walk was very strong, but I resisted both times. And both times I was aware and observant as I walked.
I started fast with the ‘get this done and get home and get busy’ attitude. As I looked at my surroundings and fell into a comfortable pace, I started to relax. The tension of ‘wasting time but I need to do this for my health’ fell away. I actually enjoyed myself and the walk. I noticed things and remembered them. I told my husband things I saw which led to conversations. I even chatted with a neighbor at our fence in the backyard and discussed the nature preserve with her.
Time to Wake Up
I think being alone wakes us up from the sleepwalking of our busy lives. Whether we just sit on our porch, in a coffee shop or out and about. If we put away our phones and electronics (yes, even the cute white pods in our ears) and just look around. Watch nature or people, tap into life going on around us. Become a part of it instead of ‘busying’ our way through it.
Being present and aware while being alone reminds us that we are, in fact, not alone. It awakens us to our connectedness in this world. We all play a part and that part is important, regardless of our level of busyness.
So this conversation was more of a rambling but I hope it will encourage you to spend a moment or two alone and aware and delightfully unbusy.